[[Cinderella's Moments]]

Friday, August 04, 2006

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Catched "The Click" with debbie and siti yesterday. A good show, though its a comedy, there's a particular emotional part. The sad moment that people part from their families and leave the world.. (though its only a dream in the movie) Its really saddening and people cried while they watched. Debbie cried, Siti cried, the girl siting next to me cried, but i didn't. I believed my tears have all dried up after that night.

I was happy to see the girls but i'm so sorry that i looked really grumpy yesterday. Told debbie abt my problem and she asked me why the sudden change in him.. I have totally no idea. why the sudden change? Its too sudden for me to adapt.

I've never felt so sad in my r/s before. Never, ever. I guessed we are at the bottom-pit again. I wonder when will we leave this spot. I wonder, wonder...

Isolate myself from the world yesterday night. Switched off my hp at 11+ and headed to sleep. Its a nice sleep. Childishly thought he will call me, but he didn't. I wonder where he goes and what he does. But i guess i have to keep those question marks to myself. I don't want to bombard him with qns and qns. The best way is to keep silent. The way that he wants...

[[Last Wrote]]*|10:29 AM|

Thursday, August 03, 2006

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i cried to sleep yesterday nite.

he called at 12+. Finally get to hear him after the long wait. There were long pauses and silence on our conversation. He didn't tell me much abt what he had done, only "politely" answered what i probed him. I knew he dun feel like telling and so i stopped asking. Asked him if he's free tml nite and he said "NO." Asked him if i can meet him tml night, he reprimanded me for taking up too much of his time. He mentioned that he feels that he spent too much time on me. I'm hurt by what he said.

I've already tried to change myself yesterday. I msg him yesterday evening to ask if i could meet him, he said he had something on and is not free at that moment. I waited and waited. Clocks ticked, ticked and ticked.. I keep restraining myself from picking up the phone to call him. I told myself that he will get back to me when he's free. I suceeded. I overcome it and he finally gave me a call at 12+. I'm so delighted.

The call turned up to be a heavy blow. Supposed to be wonderful conversation that we share our daily happening but it turned up otherwise. I really don't understand. Shouldn't couples COMMUNICATE and knows how and what the other party is doing? He shifted his things into his hostel yesterday and isn't it something great that he can talked abt? He dun like to tell me what he has done or what is happening around him. How would i know them if he dun say? i knew he disliked me questioning and nagging at him and so i stopped all these. there's no point in me telling him all my things while he kept silence. I'm so sick and tired of it that i rather kept quiet.

I really don't know how our relationship would progress. All he needs is freedom. I'm giving it to him now and i hope he can feel "my absence" in his life.

I'm sad... very sad...

[[Last Wrote]]*|10:49 AM|

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

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I've been doing temp recep for a couple of days last week. Its a rather nice experience to work with Samsung Asia. I worked in the newly-built Samsung hub at Church Street (beside Prudential Building) and was even on the same floor as the Managing directors of Samsung. How cool can that be but too bad, those korean MDs were out of town for that few days and that means i didn't even get a glimpse of them. Such a pity. Koreans are really polite. And some of them are quite cute.. haha.. And guess wat, i started to like eating Subway after i've worked there. Cos Subway is one of the most conveniently available grab and go food there, i've been eating that for that few days. Ironically i'm not tired of it, i like it more and more... (maybe because i've found my favourite way of eating) Debbie muz be really happy to see that i like Subway now because i can now be her Subway kakis for lunch.

Apart from working, i met my sec friend today. She went for the USA work and play summer program and was only back this mon. How nice it will be if i can go overseas for a long period of times (like months..) She misses local food and so we ate Yaki Yuki. Yaki Yuki is having special promotion. have their lunch buffet from Mon-Thurs between 12 - 2.30 pm and you will only pay $12 nett per person. Thats a rather good offer. After lunch, we headed to their neighbouring store. And thats K box... haha.. we sang lots of the 80s and 90s songs.. hahaha.. songs like 花心，忘情水，爱相随 etc.. my voices sucks to the core today cos i'm still recovering from my flu and that results in the heavy 鼻音...

Shun haven't been calling me today. And i guess for next few years, i'll have to experience that. He's stepping into another period of his life now. Starting his classes next Mon equates to more time loss between us. he is eager abt his new sch life, his hostel life, his new uni mates...
I think i'll need to re-adjust my life too cos my life have been revolving around him for the past yrs and now i've to learn to let go. Let him do wat he is supposed to do... Meet lesser, talk lesser.. I don't know if i can do it. I'll try to burry myself in books, work and friends. I hope the increasing distance will not cause any harm to our relationship..

[[Last Wrote]]*|11:45 PM|